Thursday, November 4, 2010

This is About How I Am an Idiot

I would like to start with some good news, though.  Last night I slept beautifully.  I even had a dream, though I don't remember much about it.  There's just the lingering feeling that it was weird, you know?  But I woke up rested, and then discovered that my favorite cereal, Reese's Puffs, contains twenty-five percent of the daily recommended iron intake.  Win!

However, it seems I used up all my luck for the day during that hour or so in the morning before I headed off to class.  The classes themselves weren't that bad, but I'm clearly still a little out of sorts, and it was very hard to stay focused the whole time.  After my last class, the plan was to get my car and get to the grocery store to pick up some orange juice and get some cash back in order to settle my AAR bill.  None of that ended up happening, though, and here's why:

I got lost.  Please do not ask me how this happened, because I can't explain it.  Since I don't have a campus parking pass I walk to and from class, which usually works out just fine.  This time, though, I managed to get myself turned around somehow and ended up in a place I've never seen before and will probably never find ever again.  I'd like to blame it on the fact that I was trying to use a different route to get home, and that the campus is currently being ravaged by construction equipment, which tends to block off many of the main entrances to buildings I use, which makes me flustered because I can't find ways in or out of my classes very easily.  The problem is that I know, even without these circumstances, it's not difficult for me to get hopelessly lost.

The truth is, I lose my way on an alarmingly regular basis.  Even if I'm in a place I know well, even if I have a map and directions in my hands, I will probably get turned around at some point.  I don't just get a little bit lost, either.  I manage to get so far away from my destinations that it's laughable, and sometimes I end up in places no one seems to recognize when I describe them later and which I am completely unable to ever locate again.

I used to get very scared when I got lost.  Images of never finding my way home again would flash through my mind, followed by makeshift plans about how to find food and shelter for myself in the unfamiliar terrain in case I was somehow stuck there for the foreseeable future.  However, I get lost all the time, and I always make my way back to safety somehow.  Over time, I grew confident in my ability to get myself unlost.  Now, the prospect of losing my way is just a given, so I just wander about and see where I end up.

So, when I got lost this afternoon, I really wasn't all that worried about it.  Then I started to notice some black clouds coming in.  I thought to myself, "You better get this figured out soon because it's going to rain".  Then, lo and behold, right I finally figured out how to get back to my apartment, the rain started falling.  It wasn't a short walk back, either.  My already somewhat disoriented self was getting progressively colder and colder the whole time, and guess what?  Right when I got to my apartment, the rain stopped.  Seriously, just for the walk, rain?  You just wanted to keep me company?  Fuck you, rain.

I proceeded to rush into my apartment, make some vegetable beef soup, and curl up under a mass of sweaters and blankets in a desperate attempt to avoid a cold on top of my current nutritional deficiency.  At this point I feel okay, so I'm pretty sure I dodged that bullet.

I know I said I was going to write about something more upbeat this time, but it's not my fault that I got lost and it rained!  Really!  At least, it's not my fault that it rained.

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